


I Remember Me

by ButterflyBunny



Series: Avengers' Infinite Playlist [12]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bisexuality, Blindness, Boys In Love, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, First Meetings, Identity Porn, M/M, Minor Character Death, Recovered Memories, Romance, Secret Identity, Songfic, Touching, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 08:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6073078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyBunny/pseuds/ButterflyBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Bucky, everyday had been the same until he met him. Then he started to remember.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in record time so if there are any grammar mistakes I apologize! If there is something you can't understand I apologize and please let me know!

_[(Alive – Sia)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2NgsJrrAyM) _

 

For Bucky, everyday had been the same until he met him.

Midtown Manhattan was almost twice as loud and crowded than New York city and Brooklyn back in the day. He was still glad thought. The fake, fleeting feeling that he wasn’t alone gave him some kind of confidence that he made him feel… better, even though he was forced to make some changes since Christmas.

Sadly, old Albert passed away on New Year’s. his daughter Elisa – whom he met briefly – told him that he had been surrounded by his family after he had a heart attack and died peacefully after three nights in the hospital. After she told him she was selling the store – and gave him a generous check that he almost rejected – he moved to Hell’s Kitchen and got a job at a restaurant, since he didn’t have any kind of ID he considered himself lucky. At first, he had his doubts about it since the idea of interacting with people had terrified him, but the manager, a man named Eugene, offered him a job doing the dishes, taking the trash out and occasionally kicking drunk people out.

He remembered a lot more now, where he lived, people he knew, the things he like doing with Steve, from their trips to Coney Island, that Steve often regretted but always came back the following year, to eating free ice cream at Mrs. Bell store. He hadn’t heard about Steve at all after Christmas, he only saw him in the newspaper front page on New Year’s with Tony Stark, but he had heard about someone looking for him. One day Luis – a regular at the diner – entered with a friend of his’, as soon as Bucky saw them he knew they had been drinking, it was Valentine’s day and the nearby bar had hosted a singles party, Luis was complaining about it being a “sausage party”. He proceeded to tell his friend, a pale man with an accent, about how he had connections with a man from the Avengers and that they were looking for someone that fitted his description.

On the second week of his new job the chiming sound coming from the door called his attention and he realised he had been standing in the same spot while not refilling the ketchup and mustard bottles from the table infront of him. Sally, one of the waitress scowled at him before entering the kitchen. He cursed under his breath and Nora, one of the oldest waitress, scowled in Sally’s direction and then looked at Bucky.

“Don’t mind her, sugar” the black woman said, smiling at him softly.

Bucky smiled back and nodded.

He liked her. She was the only one who was nice towards him there, always asking how he was doing and asking if he had eaten every morning. The way she smelled like cinnamon reminded him of his mother, and the fact that she never asked him any questions was definitely a plus. He continued his job in silence.

“Please, man, please” One of the men said, “This is my only change with a woman like her!”

“She only asked you out for coffee” The other man said, as they both sat on the booth next to Bucky.

Sally walked pass him and left two cups of coffee in the men’s table while the two men continue arguing.

“Okay” The blond continued, “I guess I will have to spend the rest of my days alone, maybe I should get a cat or go back to live with my mom and dad in-“

“You can go”

“Yes!” the man exclaimed, he stood up and kissed the other man in the cheek, forehead and head. Bucky blinked at the causal display of affection between the two men.

Unconsciously, he looked around to see if anyone else was watching, when he realised he was the only one, which was very rude, he grabbed another bottle and tried to continue. The man who stood up bumped into him.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he said, a bright smile on his face.

“No problem” Bucky said.

Bucky tried not to make eye contact and continued. He was about to leave when the man left in the table cleared his throat. When Bucky looked at him, he had taken his glasses off and was cleaning them while looking directly at Bucky’s arm. He wondered how did he notice it if he was wearing a long sleeved shirt and a glove. Bucky glared at him but the man didn’t even flinch.

“May I have the sugar?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and continued his job, “It’s right infront of you” he muttered, “Why don’t you get it yourself?”

The man blinked, clearly taken aback. He tried to smiled somewhat politely and put his glasses back on. He then reached for the sugar with his right hand, sliding it first against the table until his fingertips bumped against the glass container. It took him a few seconds to connect the dots.

“Oh”

“I will take that as an apology” The _blind_ man smiled softly.

“I didn’t mean-“

“James” Sally called, in a harsh tone that she often used only with him, “The trash isn’t going to take itself out”

Bucky took his eyes off the man and nodded at her.

After that, he was called to Eugene’s office, where the man told him that he needed to work on his “people skills”. He hated him, truth be told, the way he treated his employees, even Sally, how he threw his head back when he laughed loudly, how he ate with the mouth open and the way he licked his fingers loudly afterwards. When he left the office, Sally and a few others were whispering between themselves, Nora yelled at them to “get their asses back to work” and then winked at him. Bucky went back to refilling the stupid bottles, counting slowly under his breath.

 

* * *

 

The second time the blind man entered the diner he was with a young woman. Strawberry blond hair and big blue eyes that were narrowed towards the man, while she scolded him, clearly it had something to do with the bruise on his left cheekbone. He ordered the same thing than last time and the woman only ordered a glass of water, drinking it before leaving right after.

He was moping the floor when he spoke to him.

“James, is it?”

He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yes?” the man asked, “No?”

“Yeah... James”

“Matt Murdock” He offered Bucky his hand, Bucky took it hesitantly and shook it.

The brown eyed man smiled at him and Bucky couldn’t help but smile back, his lips curving upward slightly. Matt shook his hand with a faint frown adorning his features, Bucky then let go of his hand, suddenly self conscious about the metal hand he had offered him.

The third time had been where they had an actual conversation. It was really late and the diner was completely empty, when Matt Murdock entered, he was alone this time, and Bucky wondered if his friends didn’t consider it very dangerous for him to wander the city alone, specially so late. Nora took his order, while Bucky wiped the table next to them.

“James” Matt said, and it wasn’t a question.

“Yeah… Welcome back” Bucky stammered, the tone Matt used was so casual it bothered him, like they were friends or something.

“Are you new around?” Matt asked.

“Kind of” Bucky answered a few seconds later.

“Kind of?” Matt chuckled, “What does that even mean?”

“I… moved back recently”

Matt hummed.

“You?”

“Born and raised” Matt shrugged, “Is there any apple pie left?”

“I think so” Bucky looked at the counter and nodded.

Sally, who had been listening to them closely, because Bucky knew she was, nodded at him and grabbed a plate. She left the plate of apple pie infront of Matt and then tapped his shoulder.

“Clean that table over there” She said, throwing him a wet cloth, “ _James_ ”

After that, they didn’t make more small talk. It was fine by Bucky, who had felt a tad uncomfortable by the questioning, even thought Matt seemed like a good man.

“The apple pie is great” Matt said, once he passed by him.

Bucky froze, not knowing if he was really talking to him.

Matt then looked in his direction and pointed at the plate with the fork. If the man was really blind he was really good at pretending not to be, if that was the case. Bucky, who was being watched by Sally, simply hummed, and when she rolled her eyes and continued with whatever she was doing, he looked at Matt.

“I don’t really know” he said quietly.

“You don’t know” he repeated, “You’ve never had the apple pie here?”

“No”

The apple pie was almost three dollars, never in his life he had paid that for a simple apple pie. Heck, sixty cents seemed excessive back in the day. Matt nodded thoughtfully and then slid the plate towards him.

“Don’t do that” Bucky scowled, and it wasn’t because of Sally, because she was no longer looking their way, he just felt… _embarrassed_.

“Nora always serves me the biggest slice” The man said, “Too big, actually“ he adds, “It would be a shame if the rest went to waste… it’s really, really good”

“Matt’s right, Jim” Nora passed by them, proceeding to clean the table next to them, “If you don’t, I might” she looked pointedly at the pie.

Bucky pressed his lips and nodded.

He accepted the fork from Matt, his fingers brushing slightly against his metal ones, and there was _that_ frown again. Not of repulsion but like he was trying to figure something out. He took a piece of pie into his mouth. It was the sweetest most delicious thing he had eaten in a long time.

“Good, right?” Matt asked, his lips curving upwards because he knew the answer.

“It’s not so bad” Bucky said instead, and a smirk split Matt’s face, it made Bucky feel strange, like he was glad Matt was smiling, he shook his head, “Let me get you the check”

 

* * *

 

After that he didn’t see Matt for about two weeks.

He wondered about the man most of the time, sometimes Nora had to snap her fingers infront of him to make him pay attention.

One Friday, late night, he was smoking a cigarette outside of the diner when he looked inside, Matt was leaving a few bills on the table, ready to leave. Sally smiled at him goofily and he said something to her. The way the man moved so easily made him wonder if he was really blind, until he pulled out a walking stick once he was out of the diner. Bucky inhaled deeply and then let the smoke twirl away with the wind, not wanting to throw the smoke on the man. Besides, the suit he was wearing seemed very nice, not that Bucky had been paying too much attention.

“Are you out already?” Matt asked, standing next to him.

He threw the cigarette on the floor, “Yeah” he answered, “Not like I had much to do… slow day”

“There’s a bar nearby” Matt said, “Wanna have some drinks?” Bucky blinked several times.

He could see Matt was nervous, twisting his hands around the cane and he was tapping his feet against the cement. He wondered why would he be interested in hanging out in a bar with him, invite him out. Then Bucky realised he wouldn’t really mind if that was the situation.

“Why?”

“Well, James, you seem like a very interesting man” Matt answered.

He frowned at that but for some reason he said yes.

The bar wasn’t crowded, but it wasn’t exactly empty, Matt had gotten a booth as soon as they entered, and Bucky ordered the cheapest beer they had, reminding himself that payday was a week away and he had to manage somehow until then. Matt ordered the same as him and left his cane folded on the table. For some reason, Bucky felt like people were looking at them, two men sitting on the table in the darkest part of the room. Alone. _Together_. He tried to distract himself by looking around, tapping his fingers on the table unconsciously.

“So, James” Matt started once the waitress left two beers on the table, “How long have you been back?”

“Huh?”

“You said you moved”

“Oh, right” Bucky took a sip from the beer, “About a year... I think”

“You think?” Matt chuckled softly.

“Listen, Matt, I don’t really know why did you ask me-“

“Where did you go, If I may ask”

Bucky stared at him, not really knowing why was this man asking him those things, why was he in a bar with him at all. Matt then took his glasses off to wipe them with the hem of his shirt and Bucky noticed the faint bruise on his left cheek. He wanted to ask about that and then he remembered that the man asked him a question. A question he felt like he could answer to him.

“War” He says, and in part it was the truth.

Matt’s eyebrows knitted together, his brown eyes, unfocused, still managed to find Bucky’s somehow and then he put his glasses back on. Bucky then looked away feeling nervous, his metal arm making a fist under the table, and before he could stop himself he spoke.

“That’s where I lost my arm”

Matt stayed quiet for a few seconds that felt like hours for Bucky. It seemed like the conversation had come to an end, or at least that awkward stage where neither of them wanted to say anything else and didn’t know how to change the subject.

“I should go” Bucky said, almost standing up, when Matt shook his head.

“Please, don’t” He slides his hand on the table, missing Bucky's for a few centimeters, “I was waiting for you to say more”

“What?”

“You are quiet” Matt said retrieving his hand, “Even when you walk, at the diner, I was having a hard time knowing when you passed by me” Bucky frowned, “I guess I was just… curious”

“Curious” Bucky repeated, sitting again slowly.

“About you, yes”

Bucky looked at his hands over the table, not knowing what to say. His feet telling him to leave, to run, actually, but something else telling him to stay. And then he looked at Matt, patiently waiting for him to speak, because he felt… curious.

“Not much to say” Bucky finally spoke, “I was there, lost an arm, now I’m here”

Matt nodded, “And you work at a restaurant, and have never eaten pie” he raised an eyebrow and smiled softly.

And for the first time in a while Bucky laughed. An honest to god laugh that bubbled from his chest, making his shoulder shake a little bit. Matt smiled, like he was satisfied with himself and the took a sip from his beer.

Before parting ways that day, Matt offered Bucky his hand, the man shook it, cold metal against the warm fingers.

“I will see you later, James” he said, a small smile on his face.

“Bucky” He said, and he should have regretted it, but he felt comfortable around the brown eyed man… good even, “You can call me Bucky”

“Bucky” Matt repeated, then he smiled, “I like that”

 

* * *

 

Their friday night meeting became a regular thing. Matt always came before closing time, had a piece of pie and then waited until Bucky was out, they would walk together to the nearby bar and had a few drinks. They didn’t talk much about each other, which was fine by Bucky, but he only grew more curious about Matt. Wanting to ask him how he ended up blind or why did he often appeared with bruises on his face.

Friday came again and with it Matt, he was with the same woman as before, Karen, he heard him call her. They ate while arguing some case and she left before they could have dessert. After that, they went to the bar and sat on the same booth they sat every Friday. Matt talked about his father being a boxer, the first personal thing he revealed about himself, then about law school, but Bucky wanted to ask about something else. Something that for some reason was bothering him.

“Foggy and I have been friends ever since”

“Did you meet Karen in law school too?”

He asked, trying to sound casual. Matt blinked. He didn’t wear his dark glasses when they were together anymore, which didn’t bother Bucky at all, Matt’s eye’s were… a nice thing to look at. Those thoughts he concealed, of course.

His lips curved upward and then he shook his head, “No” he said, “We met a while after that”

“Oh” Bucky nodded.

“She and Foggy are close, so if you wanted me to hook you up, I’m afraid I’m not able to” he added, a small smile on his lips.

“No, no, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that” Bucky stammered.

Matt nodded, and they continued to drink form their beers. 

“How old are you?” Bucky asks, after a few seconds.

Matt smiled, “Thirty three” he said, “Why?”

He shrugged, “Just curious” he then added, “You look younger than that”

“Thanks” He took a sip from his beer, “You?”

“I don’t know, I guess I look young too…”

A cheerful laugh came from Matt and Bucky realised that he hadn’t ask that.

“Sorry, I thought… never mind”

“Don’t worry about it” He waved a hand, “So, how old are you?”

Bucky really didn’t know how to answer that question. He was about a hundred by now, he chuckled sadly at that and then took a sip form his beer. As always, Matt waited patiently for him to answer, that was one of the things that he liked about the man, not that he like many things, or that he could. He didn’t really know that many things about Matt Murdock.

“Twenty seven” Bucky answered, getting bothered at the half truths he often gave Matt.

In part it was his age, when he was twenty seven he joined the army. That's how old he was before he fell from the train, before HYDRA, before everything, when he was still Bucky. And truth be told, that's how he felt around Matt, he felt at easy, like nothing bad had happened to him, like he was still Bucky Barnes and he had never stop being.

The blind man nodded, “May I ask something personal?”

He blinked at him and then gripped his beer mug tightly, getting nervous for some reason, still he nodded.

“Sure”

“How do you look?” Matt asked, somewhat shyly, a faint blush spreading through his cheeks, but maybe it was the alcohol, “I’ve been trying to picture you…” he looks trails off, “to put a face to you voice” he adds.

Bucky nodded.

Maybe that was something he had been wondering for a while now, the alcohol in his system had probably given him the courage to ask. He didn’t felt like it was a weird question, for some reason he felt like Matt and him were actually… friends. It was normal to want to know how your friends looked like.

“I have black hair” Bucky starts, and Matt lets out a breath, “I’m muscular, I guess” he scratches his jaw, “I have a very square jaw”

Matt smiles softly, “Nora says you have a jawline for days” he says and Bucky chuckles, not pointing out the fact that he had asked Nora about him.

“She suggested I shaved” Bucky mentions, a small smile on his lips, “She said it covered my best feature” He scratches his jaw lightly, “Most say is the blue eyes” Used to, he wants to add, back in the day women and men use to say that at least.

The waitress comes back with two refilled beers and takes the empty glasses, winking at Bucky before leaving and Bucky follows her with his eyes. He remembers what it was like to be found attractive, it was a lot like that before, always calling the attention wherever he was, always leaving the bars with a woman, or ending up in a restroom or in the back of an alley with some man.

“You are taller than me” Matt adds, “I noticed that”

“About an inch or two” He nods.

“I have an idea now” the man says, “Thanks, Bucky”

He nods, looking at Matt’s eyes. Brown, unfocused, still he feels like he’s looking straight at him. Bucky looks at him and wonders how would those eyes look if he hadn’t… if whatever happened to him hadn’t.

“How did you… how did it happen?”

Matt takes a few seconds to answer, “Chemical accident” he says, “I was about nine” Bucky waits a beat, “It’s not… It is not something I don’t like talking about, it’s just… there isn’t anything else to know”

“I understand” Bucky says, “Do you live alone?”

Brown eyes crinkle with amusement, like Bucky had asked or said something funny. The small huffed laugh makes Bucky feel at easy all of sudden, and he chuckles softly too.

“Why? Do you want to go to my place?”

“Just curious” He says.

He looks around to see if someone was listening to them, but everyone was minding their own business. He feels more calm after that, and he takes a long sip from his drink. There is a boxing match on the television that’s attached to the wall across the room and Bucky remembers the bruises, cuts and scratches he often saw on Matt, and that his father had been a boxer. He could see Matt had a muscular body under the suit he often wore too, when he took the jacket off, undid the tie slightly and rolled off his sleeves.

“Are you a boxer too?”

He chuckles, “I’m a lawyer”

Bucky rolls his eyes, “I’ve seen the- sometimes, your face-“

“That’s just… something I do on my free time” Matt interrupts, and Bucky can see the line of questioning bothers him.

“That just makes me want to know more” He admits, looking at Matt's surprised expression.

Matt shrugs a few seconds later, “I guess we are even”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, “What does that mean?”

Matt seems to consider for a second if to answer that or maybe just let it go. And to be honest that would be better, Bucky felt like he had crossed some line, broken some unspoken agreement between the two. The man then moved in his seat, leaning closer to him.

“There seems to be lot we are not telling each other, Bucky” Matt says quietly, no heat in his words, “Maybe is better if we keep it that way?”

“Yeah… Yes” Bucky says.

And when he’s trying to get some sleep in the old tub that is in his bathroom - because he hadn't been able to sleep in a bed without feeling he'll be swallowed into some void- that night, even though his neighbours downstairs are having a party and the ones from the apartment next to him are having extremely loud sex _again_ , he realises he didn’t mean it. He wants to know, he _needs_ to know more about Matt Murdock.

 

* * *

 

Almost two weeks pass and he doesn’t hear from Matt again, and he wonders if he did something else to bother him. He talks to Nora about him, she tells him that his father was a legend in Hell’s Kitchen, everyone knew Jack Murdock, and then he was killed for not throwing a fight. He asks her if the men were caught and she says no.

_“That’s life in Hell’s Kitchen”_

A knock on the door wakes him up, he looks at his alarm clock and curses because he could have slept about thirty minutes more. He stands up and walks towards the door, sighing heavily because the persistent knock is so much more annoying with the lack of sleep. He opens and there is a black haired woman at the door, looking pretty pissed.

“You the one fucking the loud bitch?” She asks.

He frowns, “No”

The woman looks at him up and down, and he remembers he’s only wearing thin cotton pants. She then looks pointedly at his metal arm and he closes the door a little more, covering it. A loud moan comes from next door and they both look at each other, she rolls her eyes.

“That’s next door” He says.

She nods, “Assholes”

And he agrees.

The diner is open when he arrives and Sally, who always rolls her eyes at him, simply looks away apologetically, and maybe is because he’s an hour late. Eugene calls him to his office, it's payday and he is going to give him his check, instead he tells him what’s really happening. He doesn’t know why he’s been told, like they were family or something, but is the dismissive tone the man uses, that makes Bucky clench his fist until the metal creaks.

“Nora passed away yesterday” Eugene says to him, “You are going to have to serve some tables until we find someone to replace her”

“I pick up the trash” Bucky mutters, jaw clenching.

“And now you serve tables, congratulations” He grins, “You got a promotion”

Bucky swallows and nods, “Nora has- had a son“ he says, she always mentioned him, saying he was going to be the first one of her sons to go to college, “I could give him her check” because, let’s be honest, things are shitty for a lot of people in Hell’s kitchen, a few dollars could make a difference.

The man laughs, “Not necessary”

And that’s all he says before he kicks him out of the office.

“I knew you liked her” Sally says quietly, when he’s picking up the trash bags.

“Yeah, well, she was the only one who was nice to me” He retorts angrily.

Sally suddenly sobs and he looks at her surprised. Sally is about twenty two, a single mother, she works everyday from seven a. m. to ten p. m. and she looks tired, and Bucky regrets the harsh tone he used, even if she was rude at him most of the times, he didn’t know her life outside of the diner, and perhaps it was a hard one. He walks towards her and sighs.

“I’m sorry”

“No, I’m sorry” Sally says, “I’m just… Nora was really nice to everyone”

“She was”

“She didn’t deserve to leave like that”

Bucky frowns, “What? What are you talking about?”

Sally sniffs, “You don’t… You don’t know what happened?”

“No”

“Oh, god” She shakes her head, “She was robbed, and then maybe they realised she didn’t have much and… they stabbed her like five times”

Bucky stares at her. She sniffs and wipes her cheeks.

“Did they catch them?” he asks, “Whoever did this”

The blond shakes her head, “That’s life in Hell’s Kitchen” She says quietly.

Eugene whistles at her, as if she was a dog and Bucky hates him for that, and points at the door where two people entered. She puts her hand on his shoulder and then leaves.

That afternoon, a tall black man enters the diner, Sally tells him his name is George and he’s Nora’s twenty two years old son, he’s part of a gang and Sally adds that he was probably looking for Nora's last check. He enters the office and comes out about an hour later, inside the office, Bucky, who was moping the floor, can see Eugene rolling his eyes and waving his hand dismissively, he grips the mop tightly and it breaks.

He’s in the back having a cigarette when Sally calls him. He throws it to the ground and steps on it.

“Your lawyer friend is here” she smiles at him, “I kept Katherine and Janet away”

He nods, not really knowing what that means and she rolls her eyes, no annoyance or rudeness, more like amusement in them.

“He comes here only for you and the pie” she says and then she leaves.

Matt smiles when he stands next to him. And is the best he had felt all day. He takes his order and then makes some small talk, not really wanting to have to deal withEugene and Matt understands. After he eats, Bucky is picking the empty plates when he speaks.

“Can I have some pie” He says, “Tell Nora to bring me a big slice”

His breath hitches, “I… I will bring you some pie” He’s about to leave when Matt grabs his wrist.

He looks at his hand around his wrist and then at Matt. Matt, who is frowning slightly while his hand moved to hold his hand, like he knows something’s wrong.

“What happened?”

“She died” He answers and he drops his hand, “last night, she was… killed”

“Bucky” he says, “I’m sorry about that”

Bucky swallows.

“That’s life in Hell’s Kitchen” Bucky says quietly.

Matt seems to examine what he said, like the phrase, so familiar, brought him bad memories and after what Nora told him he might know what it was. But then again, he didn’t know anything about him, the man could die tomorrow and he would never know anything about him.

Matt slides his hand across the table, reaching for him, “I knew you-“

“You don’t know _anything_ about me” He hisses and Matt frowns, “I’ll send the pie”

He passes by Sally who looks away and then locks himself in one of the bathroom stalls. He’s tired and angry, he rubs his hand against his face and then runs his metal hand through his hair. When he calms down and goes out to apologise to Matt, the man is gone. On his table there is a napkin with a message and Bucky knows is for him.

_It doesn’t have to be – MM_

 

* * *

 

It was late night when he arrived home and his back was killing him. The same black haired woman that woke him up that morning was entering her apartment, which also served as an office apparently, she’s some kind of investigator and Jessica Jones is her name. She nods at him and he nods back before entering the apartment. When he bathes, he’s thankful that the hot water is working again.

The pain of his back and neck disappears when the scorching water hits and runs down his body, the metal arm gets hot but when he’s out is already cold and it sends chills down his spine. He dresses in pyjama pants and gets out of the bathroom.

“Bucky” the faint whisper reaches his ears and he’s alert in a fraction of second.

“Who are you?” he asks in a menacing tone, his metal arm making a fist.

He turns the light on and is Matt he finds in the middle of his living room, barely standing on his feet. The man is wearing some kind of red leather suit, a piece of red cloth in his hands and his face is a bloody mess.

“Matt”

“I got them” The man groans softly, putting a hand in his side, and is about to fall when Bucky catches him before he hits the floor.

He carries him to the bed and takes the red cloth from his hands, leaving it in the nightstand. The cut on Matt's side is not very deep, but it's bleeding profusely, he undresses him carefully and examines the cut. When he stops the bleeding he goes to the nearest pharmacy and buys some supplies.

Matt is still unconscious when he arrives. He stitches him up and bandages him carefully. He drags a chair and sits next to him, waiting for him to wake up, wanting an explanation, the red cloth is still sitting on the nightstand and he grabs it, when he spreads it he realises it’s actually mask and he stares at it for a few seconds.

_“It was the Daredevil” He hears Janet whisper, as she passes the newspaper to Sally._

_“He should have killed these guys” Sally says._

_“He doesn’t kill people” Katherine adds._

_“No, he brings them to justice” Sally says, “He’s cleaning Hell’s Kitchen” she shrugs, “he’s a hero”_

_“he’s a criminal” Janet says, “A vigilante is no better than those men”_

_“That’s _the only way_ ” Nora says and Bucky stares at her before she shakes her head, “Go back to work, all of you” _

Matt groans softly as he wakes up. He blinks his eyes open and then touches his face, looking for the mask he was suppose to be wearing. Bucky is standing a few feet away, looking at him carefully, a million questions running through his minds as Matt sits on the bed. The red suit is laying on the other side of the bed and the deep cut on his side looks clean. He moves a little bit and Matt looks in his direction.

“I-“

“I gave you some pain meds, stitched you up the best I could ” Bucky says, “I don’t think it will infect or an-“

“I got to them” Matt bows his head, and Bucky doesn't know if by that he means he killed them, “The men who killed Nora” he says, “they followed her expecting her to take them to her son... He owned them”

“Is that what you do on your free time?” Bucky asks, walking towards him slowly, “you are the Daredevil”

Matt nods, groaning softly and putting a hand on his side, “I wanted to tell you” he says, “After… that day, I thought about telling you, but- this is messed up” he sighs, and then adds in a somber tone, “I’m messed up“

Bucky shakes his head and then chuckles bitterly, sitting next to him on the bed. Matt frowns at him, like he doesn’t understand where the joke was, so Bucky decides to tell him. He tells him everything.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes” Bucky starts, and it doesn't feel strange in his mouth anymore, “I was in the army a… long time ago… I was on a mission with Steve- Captain America, he was- is… my best friend, and I died” Matt frowns, “Or at least that’s what he thought, I fell from a train… I didn’t die but I did lost my arm, I was captured by HYDRA” he continues, “It’s an-“

“I know what HYDRA was” he says.

“For decades they experimented on me, they played with my head, erased my mind, making me believe I was theirs… That I was nothing but a weapon” Bucky swallows, “They called me-“

“The Winter Soldier” Matt says in realisation, “Your hand is always... cold” he shakes his head, “A metal arm you-“

“After Steve destroyed HYDRA I escaped… I hid”

“And you chose Hell’s Kitchen of all places” Matt says, and Bucky manages to chuckle softly, “Bucky-”

“So I think, Matt, that we are both messed up” Bucky finishes.

“You shouldn’t be hiding, Bucky” Matt says.

“I don’t think Steve would think the same” He says, he chuckles sadly, “I could barely remember him and now I talked as if I never… left him” Matt tilts his head, like he was confused, “That’s why I’ve been hiding here... from him” he explains.

“You haven’t done anything to be hiding”

He doesn’t know what to say to that, except that he would like to believe it, and the silence that followed indicated him that neither did Matt. Still, he didn’t fell uncomfortable, and he didn’t regret to have told him the truth. Matt’s warm body is almost pressed against his’, and Bucky looks at him, wondering if there is something else that he should know about Matt before he kisses him, because he wants to kiss the man. Perhaps, asking him if he’s straight would be a good idea.

“Can I…” Matt’s hand reaches for him, “Your arm”

Bucky nods, “Okay” and he raises his hand.

Matt’s fingers touch the fingertips of the metal ones, a small frown on his face that Bucky doesn’t take as an insult, he knows it must be odd. He run his fingers from the palm of his hand to the forearm, and then up again from his elbow to his shoulder, where the metal sinks into the flesh. He jerks back a little when he touches him there.

“I’m- I’m sorry” Matt says.

“No, no, it’s fine” Bucky shakes his head, “I just… I haven’t been touched there” he swallows.

“Does it hurt?”

“No” Bucky says, “Maybe… I think I’m used to it”

Matt nods, his eyebrows knitted together while he touches the arm again. Bucky looks at his face, closer he can see the wrinkles on each side of his eyes, the faint stubble too. He realises he was right about Matt having a muscular body, there is a several long scars on his chest that he wants to ask about but doesn’t for some reason. Maybe because Matt is touching his shoulder again, with more confidence this time, and it sends shivers down his spine.

Bucky knows they are ugly, the scars there, even after all the torture he endured while he was with HYDRA he never scarred, just there, where the metal connected with his skin. So he grabs Matt’s hand and makes him cup his face, wanting him to feel something... nice.

Matt smiles softly and Bucky leaves a shaky breath out while the thumbs his jaw.

“You have a jawline for days” He says quietly and Bucky chuckles.

Matt licks his lips and moves his hand to his cheek and then his eyelids and eyebrows. Bucky knows he’s tracing the lines of his face with his fingers so he closes his eyes and lets him. The hand then touches his lips, but just for a second before he goes back to his cheek and cheekbones, then he touches his hair.

“You didn’t tell me you had long hair” Matt whispers, because they are so close that talking loud would be useless.

“Yeah” Bucky whispers back.

“I like it”

Matt’s lips curve upwards and he touches Bucky’s lips. Like he wants to know if he smiling and that makes Bucky smile. And when Matt thumbs his bottom lip and he blushes lightly. Maybe he is going to kiss him.

“Bucky” Matt says.

“Mmm?”

“I meant it, you know?” Matt whispers, “You haven’t done anything to be hiding”

Bucky stares at him. Maybe Matt is right, maybe he should stop running from Steve. Steve who had been looking for him, moving the skies and the grounds for him. For his Bucky. He remembers now how Steve called him his Bucky. And it feels like the last piece of the puzzle fell in place.

“I think those pain meds are kicking in” Matt says.

“Yeah” Bucky nods and he stands from the bed, “You should rest”

“Where are you sleeping?” Matt asks.

Bucky smiles softly and turns the lights off, “I’ll sleep on the couch”

Matt considers something for a second then nods, he then lays carefully on the bed, groaning softly before closing his eyes. Bucky is about to leave the room when the man’s voice stops him.

“If things don’t work out in New York” He adds, “You can always come back here”

The next day, when Bucky wakes up, Matt is gone. There is a note in the mirror when he looks at his reflection, written in the back of the pharmacy receipt.

_I was hoping you suggested taking the other side of the bed. Maybe next time?_

_PS: I know you don’t have a couch – MM_

Bucky smiles softly and saves the note. He thinks about asking Matt out once the man appeared at the diner. But he never gets there. Because when he is passing behind the bar, where he often takes a shortcut through the alley to get to the diner faster, a man appears from the sky. Literally, he lands infront of him, he’s black and he has some kind of flying backpack. Bucky is sure he has seen him somewhere, but before he gets to ask, or say anything really, he punches him square in the face and everything goes dark.

 

* * *

 

He opens his eyes slowly, his head throbbing and his nose, even though not broken, hurts like hell. When he tries to move his arm he realises it’s trapped in some kind of machine. The doors open.

“Hey, Cap!” The black man from before enters the room.

And Bucky glares at him, he’s prepared to say something but the insult dies in his throat when he realises the man is not alone and he stares surprised, piercing familiar blue eyes look back at him, and there is a hint of, what he like to think is, worry in them.

“Buck” Steve says, “Do you remember me?”

He thinks about it for a few seconds, mostly distracted by the way Steve is looking at him.

“Your mom's name was Sara” he answers, “You use to wear newspaper in your shoes”

Steve’s expression softens and his lips curves upwards. Bucky had forgotten about his smile, but now he remembers.

He remembers _everything_.

 

 

_“You took it all, but I'm still breathing… I'm still breathing, I'm alive.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I finished rewatching first of Daredevil and between that and Charlie Cox saying in an interview that he would like to join the MCU (And if he gets recast he would fight the actor who gets the part), the idea of including him here came to my head. Bucky and him look like they could hit it off if they met, right?
> 
> PS: In this fic the events of Daredevil season 2 never happened and won't happen (Depends on wether or not Matt Murdock appears on this Series again).
> 
> Also, Jessica Jones and the way she says "assholes" and Luis, Scott Lang's friend who cracked me up the whole movie!


End file.
